obey

today is a good day. "i hope that everything will stay the same for tomorrow", this is what i wished to the dim sunlight this morning. it will be a boring life i know, but somehow it's the time to slow down and go back to the ordinary life- the past of me. look at the sky, complicated yet empty. look at the airplane, flying too fast and too slow at the meantime. kinda feeling grey cos i missing you again.

who is the meanie of love?

the time running fast and my heart beating slowly in da little dark room again. what am i supposed to do? the way she verbally pushing me kept flashing in my mind. the eerie silence of the environment ain't helps to reduce the fussy chaotic of my aching mind. what an ennui scene. again, what to do next? i did planned... trying to tell them the exact feeling of mine but their mean words always hold me down. why they have to start the conversation with those heart breaking words? somehow i defined it as a way they showing their loves toward me. i love you guys too. i knew that i'm way too slow to take a wise decision. let me ponder for a while please... my life sucks enough and i need some strengths to overcome my cowardice on taking any actions. too baby steps but i would not regret for it. you can have my words mummy~ i'm still the little daughter that you used to know. have been carried away recently but that's the way for me to clear my mind. this is a wrong way but trust me, it won't last longer cos i still have an useful thing-wisdom.

welcome back

never felt so great to stay awake till morning. the normal life really got me crazy right now. i love this feeling! oh~ you're back. how kool to be myself again, the moment without lights, brain ain't working for a short while, filling the air with tobacco scent, no i won't take any foods even i'm starved, plan nothing for tomorrow and opps, i wanna missed everything. yeah, coming back for more. stay awake my other part, abi. cheers! riots all around.

miseries

i'm scared...in the sober way..my mind is too clear to think, my heart is warm as it ever does, every single sound would blew me away..i'm insecure, i'm hurted. someone tells me that it would be okay soon, when is it? i can't wait! there was a face beyond those clouds, was that my grandpa? i cant recall anything besides the smile, i need you...where are you? i wanna go with you, take me away cos i wanted to. ohm,ohm,ohhhm....it will be okay,,hope so

sulky

i stuck in the middle of the road, hoping for some warmth that could blew me away. i love the mist as i recall...but why the fear come along with my favourite? i thought i am the ashley that i used to know...i confused...deranged along my life...who am i? pls, take me away..forever and ever..luv you grandma

shut up

i had met a samaritan, not neither the nice dude nor the bad ass type. he's the friendly kind. nonsense always in the topics, the lingo-stfu didn't make the cut and a sweet good bye for the end of the date. i always doubt, when is the time for us to take a bow? he will absolutly not be my dismay but as my sixth sense told me, i should not meet him again. this idea really makes sense to me, so i shall crash off. no more story about him.
my life continued with a lot of horrible stuffs. 1st, i fell into the drain(oh my god! it was fucking hurt). the next thing was all about that bitach-my favourite lecturer. she was everything that led to my bad luck. i guess there were hexing around. she made my life worst with her works. then i applied the wrong medicine on my wound. it costed me to the hell.so i consulted the docter and got an injection. woo hoo~ the main story.. after all i was so sleepy, whole my body and mental in pain. so i took a deep nap in the class..the next thing i know when i got up was...my purse and my cheap phone gone. kill me pls~ that little cheap poor hole...return those cards to me at least!!!!!!!!!! sign, what to do? i thought that i had reached the bottom part of the luck until i saw those worms crawling all around my room. gross~!!! i forgot to throw the rubbish..shit! well then, i had the most incredible sweet dream in my life. no more bad luck pls...

carrying you

it's been a while right? miss me? okay, lemmi show ya my luvly pics++

these were my activities for the last november...it was a short period anyway :)