who is the meanie of love?

the time running fast and my heart beating slowly in da little dark room again. what am i supposed to do? the way she verbally pushing me kept flashing in my mind. the eerie silence of the environment ain't helps to reduce the fussy chaotic of my aching mind. what an ennui scene. again, what to do next? i did planned... trying to tell them the exact feeling of mine but their mean words always hold me down. why they have to start the conversation with those heart breaking words? somehow i defined it as a way they showing their loves toward me. i love you guys too. i knew that i'm way too slow to take a wise decision. let me ponder for a while please... my life sucks enough and i need some strengths to overcome my cowardice on taking any actions. too baby steps but i would not regret for it. you can have my words mummy~ i'm still the little daughter that you used to know. have been carried away recently but that's the way for me to clear my mind. this is a wrong way but trust me, it won't last longer cos i still have an useful thing-wisdom.